According to Albert Mahrebian, professor of psychology, when we speak only 7% of the words we say have an effect on the listener. 38% is the tone of voice & 55% is body language. The elements that have the greatest effect on our listener are the way we shake our hands, our facial expressions, the tone of our voice, the volume of our voice, etc.
Albert Mahrebian studied the importance of non-verbal communication. The influence of non-verbal communication is stronger than words.
Based on these three elements (words, tone of voice, body language), we decide if we will like the message, if the person who speaks to us will suit us, because these three elements create emotions in us.
I will give you an example:
Verbal: I have no problem with you
Non-verbal: The speaker avoids looking the listener in the eyes, feels uncomfortable, has his arms crossed, his voice is serious.
The listener will understand that something is wrong even though he is told “I have no problem with you“. In this way we give a conflicting message to our listener. Thus sometimes there’s a big contract between what we say and what we mean that becomes obvious through the tone of voice and the body language.
Try saying the same thing with a different tone of voice and body language and you will understand the difference.